While we were sitting there, a girl who works in this food court sat down to take her lunch break. She looked over at us several times and smiled (I was holding Ruby at this point while she slept and while Matt was off exploring). She commented on the cuteness of our baby. Sometimes I get really shy when strangers start talking to me, especially if it's about Ruby. For some reason though, I wanted to talk with her because she was sitting all by herself eating her lunch. I hate seeing people all by themselves eating (although sometimes they want to be). But in this case, she seemed like she would enjoy just having someone to pass the time with.
We talked about a lot in the space of ten minutes. I learned that she moved from Morocco about four months ago. That she works a 2-10pm shift most days of the week, while her husband works a 5am-2pm shift. That she is paying a crazy amount of money in rent every month because that's what happens in New Jersey. That she wants to go to school for nursing, but is not sure how to manage classes plus working full time.
Then I started learning some more as I feel like she opened up more. She told me how she had met her husband; it was a few days before their wedding that they met, and from my limited understanding it sounded like their fathers had coordinated this. She almost seemed apologetic or even ashamed about this, and I felt so much compassion and almost ashamed in return that she could feel judged by me about her decision. Not to make any kind of statement to stir controversy, or to downplay a woman's rights, or any of that - but I wanted to tell her that I thought it was pretty amazing how she honored her family's customs. That I believe that in marriage, there must at some point be a decision made to love (a book by Gary Smalley by that title really has shaped my thinking about this), and that I believe that seems pretty cool that she and her husband were agreeing to do that from the start. I don't know why, but this conversation has just come back over and over in my mind. To wonder how she thought I perceived her decisions in this area and if she has faced judgment from others regarding her story.
And the other part of our conversation that I cannot let go of is when she asked me - "Is it this hard for everyone?" I think meaning, this living, working, trying to make ends meet, trying to get to know others, trying to figure out life here in the United States - "is it this hard for everyone?" I didn't know what to say. I said I think that for many people it is not easy. But I didn't know what else to say. And her lunch break ended, and I didn't think to ask for her email, or to tell her that I would pray for her. I unfortunately cannot remember how to spell or say her name. But I want to pray for her. Through involvement at Mission Adelante in the last year, my heart has been stirred for people who have moved to our country and now is even more drawn to pray for this girl and her husband learning to live in New Jersey without family nearby or much of a support network. I want to tell you guys about her, and write about our conversation because I don't want to forget about it. I don't want to forget to pray. I am not sure exactly what to pray even. I hope it's OK to tell her story here - I hope that she would not mind it as I think I walked away impacted far more than she may ever have guessed. May the Lord direct our hearts into his love and Christ's perseverance.
wow, what a crazy encounter...pray it up. she has a special place in your heart.
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