Hodgepodge

A multitude of things are on my mind, so it's time to share. It's been a while since my last post, which was about our departed (my parents house, not dead) crazy dog, Tiki, who tried to steal my biscuits and gravy before our Kearney trip. One of the Kearney Boyz, Piz, asked if this would be one of those blogs that would become stale and die soon. I assured them that it probably would. Although, my wife, who often surprises me (choosing Tiki as our dog) has proved me wrong. This is good as I thoroughly enjoy reading her post, even though, like many or few of you I do not comment on them. I did, however, promise to post before Christmas, well better late than never is my motto (of which I have many).

Podge 1
You may notice that Kathleen and I use parentheses a lot (we love them). Why? Not really sure, I view them as tiny tangents, rabbit trails (I think it should be rabbit tales (sounds more fun)). Sometimes they give the reader a better understanding of what we are talking about or a way for a fun distraction. Also, they are used frequently in coding (computer programming) for passing variables (values or objects). So I feel more at home when I use them. Do others of you have a favorite symbol(s)? Kathleen is not a fan of the exclamation mark! Which gives me all the more reason to use them for those of you who know how my personality works (pushing the boundaries). Who knew punctuation held such emotion?!

Podge 2
Husbandry and the art of fathertry has become a coveted skill as of late. We are in process of getting our house on the market and I've knocked out most of the things on the list that Kathleen and I put together. However, it hasn't been without stress, anguish and wet socks. My last project, a few days ago, was re-hooking up the plumbing to our kitchen faucet after our granite was installed. Needless to say I soaked our basement with water because I couldn't find plumbers tape, and used plumbers putty instead. At this time my beautiful and understanding wife was camping out at my parents till my dad and I squared up water to our house again. I'm sure that I haven't juggled my tasks and taking care of the Wifey and Ruber as well as I would like, but they have been awesome. Every simple task has taken it's tole and we are of the opinion that spiritual warfare is alive and well in our house and community. But we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. We hope to move to KCK sooner rather than later to more effectively work with Mission Adelante as we minister to our Bhutanese Refugee friends, but it's all in God's timing.

Podge 3
While fear appears to be caused by things around us, it's not, it's very much internal. When I laid in bed as a wee lad and looked in my monster filled closet, I was sure they were real. Now those monsters still exist, but have come out of the closet and meet me in my daily life. One of my friends at work has been a huge help when it comes to solving my IT woes. We get along well as we have similar interests, he loves wood working even more than I do, and has used it to bless others. Once he told me that he had a big decision to make, but he already knew the answer. He was afraid of the pain it would cause. Could he handle it? Was there a another way? So he stayed up all night in anguish. In the end he made the right decision as he always did. I'm glad he did, because really he was the only one who could have gone to the cross for my short-comings, my sins. What if fear had won and Jesus decided to not go to the cross, where we would be? I'm grateful for him, hope I see him tomorrow in myself and the people I encounter as he IS the celebration.

Peace and Love my friends, The Totsch Fam

It's coming on Christmas....

I wanted to share what we've been up to lately; I am sharing it all at once, instead of more frequent little bits. Just how things are these days:) Christmas for the Totsch family this year with a fourteen month old has included some adjustments. We switched from our regular tree to this little beauty who conveniently sits out of reach.

All of our decorations are actually out of reach this year. In this next picture, you'll notice our Advent cards in the background a la Ann Voskamp, hung in the entryway to our kitchen. I also want to point out with a mixture of thankfulness and pride some other things - in preparation for getting our house ready to put on the market hopefully this spring, Matt has been hard at work. New paint in the kitchen, new appliances, a new light over our dining table that was not an easy install. He has been pushing hard to get these things done, and I appreciate his willingness to give time and energy to keep moving us in the direction we believe God is leading.

The Rubster is expanding her vocabulary.... it now consists of "daddy", "mama", "nonni" (grandma), "vovó" (grandma), "ti-ti" (which is "Tiki" which actually applies to many dogs right now), "baby", "go" and probably Ruby's favorite, and pictured here: "no".

Just wanted to post a picture of my little cutie complete with runny nose and happy heart. You will notice the end table in the background does in fact have towels over it. The combination of concrete top and sharp corners was too much for me with a not-so-steady little one. Our friends Andy and Val brought up the suggestion of bubble wrap last night jokingly - I actually don't think it's a bad idea:)

This next picture was taken with camera phone, hence its quality but it contains an important object I don't want to forget. The large pink object on the right side is pink puppy, and he is a girl's best friend. Despite his lack of one ear, he is proving himself to be invaluable both to Ruby and her parents. When we need a distractor, all we have to ask is "Where is pink puppy?" and off she toddles in search of her beloved friend.

Ruby and I had fun on a recent day off when I got to relive a little of my own Christmas memories from growing up with a viewing of "Christmas Eve on Sesame Street." Produced in 1978, I have fond memories of watching this one with my brothers. I was searching for it on Netflix a few weeks ago to be sure it was still around, and I was appalled to see that not only was it not listed at all, but had been replaced by "Elmo saves Christmas." (Ruby does not know about Elmo yet, so maybe in a few years, if he has replaced pink puppy as a favorite, perhaps I will not be so disgusted.) Anyway, I was relieved to find that Target had not forgotten "Christmas Eve on Sesame Street", and we got to have a fun time together viewing it. Matt does not really seem to understand the amazingness of this movie, but indulged me with semi-watching as well. We will be celebrating Totsch-style later this week by watching Muppet Christmas Carol, which I agree with him does not have the cheese-factor of Sesame Street Christmas, but it also doesn't include awesome sideburns or Cookie Monster eating a telephone.


Aside from when our friend Isaac was first born, I do not have a great picture of Isaac and Ruby together. This is as close as I have come. These next two pictures were taken at a party last week to celebrate the end of the trimester for ESL students and the members of the kids and teens clubs and their families, who are part of the community of Bhutanese refugees. It has been two years since we first got to meet some of these families, and we have been very thankful for their friendship.



Ruby pictured here with her Advent calendar. We are, I think, beginning to see a bit of sassiness coming out in our daughter....


Date night: We were intending to use our livingsocial coupon to go to Skies for one last time prior to its closing at the end of November. Skies is where Matt took me on our first date and where he proposed to me, so it's a special place in my heart. Maybe it worked for the best (I might have been a little sad) that we unknowingly tried to go on the night of the Mayor's tree lighting down at Crown Center. The wait list for Skies exceeded the time we thought we could hold off eating, so we had some yummy Fritz's and enjoyed a little Christmas concert afterwards. Thankful to have the opportunity to do this!


(Disclaimer - this last little attachment is beautiful, but it is moving especially to anyone with a heart for adoption, and depending on when you are reading this, or how you are doing, I would hate to send you here without a little heads up). And lastly, I wanted to share a link to a song that my friend included in a recent blog post. My words may fail me to explain why I wanted to share this - when I asked Matt, he said "Why not?" (For which I love him). The song says that "we celebrate His perfect gift of love", and I believe what I have posted above is all part of our attempt to celebrate this perfect gift. But we realize that all is not perfect in the world, nor is all perfect in our own lives or the lives of our friends. May I not ignore that and "yet rejoice in the Lord, and be joyful in God my Savior." The truth and reality of day-to-day life for every person walking this earth in hurt, confusion, heartache or trouble mixed with the truth and reality of our God, who calls himself a Redeemer, a Restorer. Who sets the lonely in families. I am sharing this video because Philippians 4:8 says whatever is "true... right.... lovely", think on these things, and I believe this story to be all of those.
In case I don't blog again for awhile (which given my track record), there is a good chance:) Merry Christmas to you, thanks for being part of our 2011, and a happy and blessed new year.
love,
the Totsch family

Courage

Photo courtesy of Jenae Weinbrenner: www.imijfoto.com

The picture really doesn't have a lot to do with my post today, except that I love it. I love my daughter, I love that she likes to pull the bows out when I put them in.

So sitting down just now after work, feeling a little disheartened by a day when I don't feel like I was a very good PT, I was blessed with a little time to myself since Ruby fell asleep on the way home....

And reading a few friends' blogs, I was struck by the thought that I am so impressed with this idea of "courage" that I am seeing in people's lives all over the place. Courage to adopt. Courage to wait to adopt. Courage to wait for a baby. Courage to be a good mom. Courage to love. Courage to celebrate the holidays.

And I have nothing big to say, other than that I needed to think just now about what my friends are teaching me about having courage. It did my heart good to read and watch and listen and observe. And realize that when I was reading Acts 4 yesterday, the title of the section I was reading was called, "The Believers Pray for Courage." So I think I will too pray for courage for these girls, these friends, these moms, these families choosing to persevere, and to hope. I love seeing their courage. I will pray for courage for myself too. Sometimes, though it may not seem like much to you, I forget that I am, in fact, demonstrating courage - courage every time I drive to work in sub-32 degree weather. Courage to laugh with my daughter when I am a little sad inside. Courage to blog. Courage to keep being real and vulnerable with our community and friends, even when I feel like they will like me less. Courage to tell Matt that I am going to keep trying to figure out this thing of loving him well, when there are days I know how much I have fallen short of it.

I have been trying to think about how to prepare for Christmas, how to celebrate Advent - what I want that to look like for our family, for Ruby. Maybe my focus this year will be thinking about courage. If you feel so inclined, what about reading the story with me of the birth of Jesus with an eye willing to look for courage? Would love to discuss this with anyone who wants to. It usually takes me awhile to sort my thoughts and share them, so that's all I have to say about that for now:) Just thought I would invite you into my own seeking.