Round robin

It has been a blessing to have this extra time around you Ruby the last few weeks while I am healing. (And praise God I am able to carry you again!)

I have recently realized how amazing I think your hands are. You are getting really good at using them. Look at those little chubby dimpled fingers. We read together, and you are starting to like to touch the books (and put them in your mouth). I love watching you open your mouth and start moving towards your target, ready to explore everything - instead of you bringing things up to your mouth, you bend over to bring your mouth to your next object of interest. Often, it is your daddy's nose for some reason.

I love how opinionated you are becoming. And talking (or singing? we can't tell)..... sometimes protesting. Sometimes just reminding us while we are in the car that you are there.

Today is the first day I am attempting to stay home with you by myself and take care of you without help. I still haven't driven since the accident - and sure am not going to try it today with the snow/ice we got last night. But my heart is thankful that I am able to do this today, be here with you. That it is beautiful outside even if we are tired of the snow.

I had told two friends recently that before the accident, I would get pretty lonely staying home with you. Not that you are not a great conversationalist and all, but I missed interacting with other people as well. And I worried that I wasn't doing a good job as a mom. I think I have started to learn two things during this experience - that I need to ask for help as a mom, that we weren't meant to just sit in our houses and tough it out by ourselves in loneliness or anxiety or just not knowing how to start cereal because you are still spitting it out after multiple attempts. So my friend Jami encouraged me to acknowledge the loneliness.

And my friend Kerri inadvertantly encouraged me to add some structure to my days while I am home with you (inadvertant because she does not know that I follow her blog - what Jami would define as blog stalking:).... I used to feel guilty for not constantly giving you my undivided attention, fearing that you would grow up poorly adjusted and feeling unloved and insecure. I am not exactly sure what this will look like, but to borrow a Kanakuk-ism, the four square life sounds about right. Based off Jesus' example in the book of Luke, we are to grow in wisdom, stature, favor with God, and favor with man. So I want to spend a little time each day with the Lord. A little time connecting or re-connecting with friends. A little time working out (somehow? - can't wait to start taking you on walks when the weather warms up, Ruby). And to keep filling that brain up - I have been kind of surprised lately some of the physical therapy questions friends have asked that I can't really remember much of an answer for. And exciting in itself - I start PT next week. I make people do exercises every day, but I have never been through the process myself. I feel like God is going to use this whole experience to make me a better therapist.

I guess there's one more thing too that I am learning - for some reason today, I have been really enjoying watching the birds land on the branches outside our house. I know this picture does not do it justice - but this robin is literally as round as a baseball. And it's the end of February. And I would think that at this point in the winter, the robins wouldn't be looking so well-fed. I would expect a little more leanness. So, as always when I see the birds outside, I think about how our heavenly Father knows what we need - how we are not to worry about our life because as God makes sure the birds are taken care of, he will do the same for us.